If I could give you a gift....

...it would be to wish you peace. Calm. Quiet. Chaos-free.

When the holiday season approaches, I watch with amazement people hurrying about. Frantic. Trying to fit everything in. Stress.

I will keep this short.

One of my dear friends said to me last week..."I am more excited about this upcoming holiday season than ever!"

What is most extraordinary is that they don't have the finances this year to be doling out gifts to all of their family and friends. They will probably be foreclosing on their home, having to sell a business and looking for other means of making a living.

When I asked her why this will be the greatest she simply said, "I am going to just enjoy spending time with my friends and my family."

Yes. Simple. Peaceful. Calm.

I think this was the meaning all along.

My gift to you...peace.

xoxo Wendy

`Love em...hate em....

...probably wouldn't want to have to live without them. Cell phones that is!! I was talking to a friend of mine yesterday and we were talking about the very first cellular phones. Remember, huge and had to sit in the front seat of your car and practically needed their own seat with a seat belt they were so big. And it was RARE that anyone even had one.

Now...everyone has one! In fact, I know hardly anyone that DOESN'T have one (Ken!!).

But now I feel that there should be classes given to carry one. Just like you need a drivers license, I think that we should have to have a cell phone license! You would have to take classes and pass a test and if you are found (or heard) violating the LAWS you would be ticketed and after three offenses, your cell phone is confiscated.

Actually, these LAWS are really just common sense and merely downright courtesy issues...but somehow people have taken leave of their human courtesy senses.

So I have decided to list just a few things that I would like to see happen. (If you think of more, PLEASE list them here for me!!)

When in the presence of another person that you are friends with or related to....do not pick up the phone while in the middle of a conversation! Unless of course, you say (at the very least!) excuse me while I check this will you please???? I am so annoyed and even feel dismissed when I am eating with someone, riding with someone, or just hanging out with them and they allow someone to butt in our conversation, outing or dinner and not only answer without saying something to me....but continue an entire conversation without thought that I am sitting with them and we had been having a conversation. I want to get up and leave. No lie. I want to leave them there with their lengthy conversation and go. But usually I am driving.

Conversations in public....with tons of other people listening. I KNOW that this is talked about all of the time....so I won't pontificate. We ALL know how annoying this is.

Texting!! People, texting counts as talking. I know people that will just pull out their dinging phone to read a text and THEN proceed to write back an answer.....while in the middle of another conversation with the HUMAN standing with them!!

What is so damn important that a text or a phone call cannot wait until your appointment, lunch, shopping, riding or any of the other HUMAN contact time is over??????

Please, reconsider your need for constant cell phone/texting usage when with other actual living breathing people.

I know I will.

xoxo Wendy

PS Probably the people that really NEED this little article will not be reading my blog! :) So I have an idea. Email them my blog info. Or write it on a piece of paper and hand it to them and ask them to read it....you know, telling them about this lunatic friend that you have that makes you smile during her rantings. :)

An unlikely meeting....

It just goes to show...you never know.

I was traveling to Las Vegas last month - October 2008. I was waiting for my flight at the Detroit Metro Airport. Flying Spirit. I occupied a seat in the terminal. The woman next to me said that she was holding the seats for a couple but the seat I was in was free. So I said that I would guard the seats for the missing couple. :) A few minutes later, the couple returned. We struck up a conversation and had a great time. Hit if off totally. I gave them my card and said that they should contact me while in Vegas. And they did. They came to our condo (David hadn't arrived yet) and we promptly made plans to have dinner the night before they were leaving. David and I were simply running out to Home Depot to get some other supplies that night as the wonderful contractors had been working on our garage for two days and they were going to finish the next day. When we ran home to get ready to meet this couple for dinner...we were locked out of our house. The garage door was malfunctioning. We had to cancel dinner. I was totally bummed. It took us three hours to get into the house.

Long story short. This past weekend we drove to Ohio to see my brother on Saturday. And on Sunday drove to Windsor....Canada...where Ken and Chris (the couple!) had invited us to their home for dinner!! We had our dog (Sushi!), it was David's birthday (45) and we had the most amazing time. Ken is a phenominal cook. Chris is the sweetest thing ever. And we laughed, and ate, and laughed and talked, and ate, and laughed some more!! It was as though the four of us had known each other for a lifetime. And!! They had this lemon cake lighter than air thingy from a local bakery....and it was sugar free!!

They sent us home with the leftover food (tenderloin no less!), gifts (Ken gave me a Wolfgang Puck electric pepper grinder...with a light no less....that I had been making over like a 10 year old kid!!)....some homemade spaghetti sauce that David must have arm wrestled Ken out of while making a trip to their freezer in the garage!...but the greatest thing that we left with?

New friends. New "old" friends. That I met in the airport.

Life is great. It just goes to show...you never know.

xoxo Wendy

...you'll be glad you did!

No matter who you decide to vote for. Doesn't matter if your vote may cancel out mine. So what if you are sick sick sick to death of the advertisements. Whether you agree with my beliefs or not. If it seems like a hassle to go stand in line to pull the lever. Even if you are sick (like me). If this is the ONLY exercise you get today....get out and exercise your right to vote. You will feel better. Even if you don't, I will. Go. Now. Be proud that we have this right. I know I am. Goooooooooooooooooooooooo _________________, fill this in with either candidate of your choice. Love always, Wendy

Missing people....funny how that works!

Jane is in Italy. I couldn't be happier for her. And so very proud that she went on this trip. I cannot wait to hear all about it from her. I live an hour away from Jane, in the same state....for a few more months anyway. I see her every four to six weeks....if I am lucky. She has been gone for only about a week or so. I miss her more than you can imagine. Isn't that funny? Just knowing that she is so very far away somehow makes me miss her more. Don't you find that fascinating in your life as well?

I am moving to Las Vegas. And even though my husband and I will be coming back probably every two months or so (for work reasons) people are already saying they are missing me. I feel that I will be seeing everyone....maybe even more than we do now....but somehow the distance makes a difference. If only in our minds.

Perhaps the saying, "Distance makes the heart grow fonder" is true. And maybe it is for this very reason. When someone is far away from us....we think about them more...and long to be able to run right out and see or visit them.....but we usually don't. We take for granted that someone is just an hour or two...or a few minutes away....and so we don't reach out.

Reach out.

Have a great day.

Ciao!!

Unforgettable

After a few phone calls from some of you...and a couple of emails...I wanted to put a small disclaimer in regarding a couple of things.

First, my husband read the previous posting and pointed out to me, that although he loved it....it was NOT a brief posting. I said that I would keep them brief, and I didn't. I am sorry. I will do better in the future.

Second, when I say that we are living in and with an empty house....we DO still have a few things. We are not lying on the floor to sleep, or eating our meals off from the kitchen countertops. We are taking our new dining room set to Vegas with us. AND we have pre-sold our bedroom furniture to someone that knows that we will need it for a couple more months. We kept a full-size bed for Alex to sleep on too. He will get that when we leave. AND, we spend lots of time at our desks in the office/basement and we each have a desk and a chair there.

Third, if you have given us/me something that was homemade or made especially for us...we are taking it with us to Vegas. Examples: my beloved flamingo from Jerilyn, the antique green medicine cabinet from my brother Bob, the "Home Sweet Home" plaque from Alene and Bernie, the TV tray set from my brother Bart, the set of three oriental pictures that Jane made for me (they are so cool, she actually went and bought a newspaper from China and made three framed pictures...and although my colors in the new house are no longer red/black/jungle....I am still keeping them!), the gorgeous oriental piece of framed artwork from my good friend Carol in California, and a great glitzy girl hanger that my crazy friend Karen bought for me a couple of years back (OH and the set of 4 Leopard Martini glasses from her as well)!

See, I am actually taking a bunch of my favorite pieces. We figure that we will have the smallest amount of space needed on a moving van. Less than 2000 pounds.

I actually love so many of these things and want them with me...to remember all of you....like I could ever forget you.

Unforgettable.

xoxo Wendy

Jane, Sharon, Teri...oh my!

Jane told me that people like to read shorter insertions in blogs. People want to come to the site, read and digest. Short installments.

I often listen to Jane. Yesterday I took this into consideration while posting. I have so much to say...yet wanted to keep it brief. Decided that I would write more often, less text.

Thank you Jane.

I wrote yesterday that the signs have been given to me for a long time. The signs of living with less....and loving it. I want to tell you about some of these signs.

I went to Japan to sing for the first time when I was 29 years old. I was going to be gone for several months. I packed soooooo much stuff that it was overwhelming to me. The amount of stuff that I wanted to take with me, that I thought I couldn't go without, was enormous. I packed it and took it all anyway. (The company that I was singing/working for was paying for it AND bringing so much on a plane was not as limited and charged for as it is now.)

When I was living in Japan, the thing that brought me the most peace? Was the amount of simplicity that I found. Everywhere. Peoples homes. The people. Temples. Shrines. Stores. Restaurants. Streets. Cars. All around me. Simplicity. I loved it. Even their flower arrangements, Ichibana, were simple. I felt so free. I could breathe.

Fast forward a few years. I was working in Grand Rapids for a short time showing model homes to potential clients who would want to build these homes. I worked all day long in this big, beautiful spec home. It was gorgeous. I loved going to work each day. What I loved the most? The peace that came from a home, though somewhat fake surroundings as no one actually lived in it, that was so uncluttered - maybe even under-decorated, was loud. How can peace be so loud I often wondered? But it was. It was simple. Uncluttered. Quiet. Easy. I felt so free. I could breathe.

My good friend Sharon, whom I only met a few months ago. (By the way, how can someone that you have only known for a short time feel so familiar and wonderful and truthful? Seems to be happening to me quite often these days!) When I first met Sharon, she told me how she often moves very simply. Gives away most of her things and takes what she can pack in her car. PACK IN HER CAR??!!?? I only imagined that her car was actually a bus, or a Mack truck...because I could see no other way that would ever be possible. When I went with her out to her car as she was leaving....I nearly fainted. Her car is small. I asked if THIS was the packing tool she was talking about. It was.

I went into the house, sat down on the couch and tried to imagine how that must feel. To be able to pack everything into your car and move to a new place. Across country. And be happy. While sitting on that couch, feeling those feelings, I felt so free. I could breathe.

We have a rental house next door to our own. There were some new neighbors that moved in last year. They had a little boy, Austin, that David and I fell in love with. We often wished that his parents could only realize how very special he was. He just seemed to be in their way. David and I often had conversations with him out in our driveway. He was 9. They moved into the rental house after a fire destroyed everything that they owned. The mother was devastated. She seemed very angry, bitter and unhappy...most of the time. The relationship between the parents was very strained, nothing to do with the fire I am certain.

When I heard that they had lost all in a fire, I felt very bad for them. This was at a time last year when I could only live on the first floor of our home for over 5 months due to "the foot thing". While lying on the bed in our den, I began to think how I would actually love it if all of my stuff burned. Taken by a fire. That the things that I loved and the dog and all of us, I could retrieve...and that the rest would go. Wow. What the hell was that? But it made me start to think that I wanted to let go of anything that was holding us down. Weighing us down. Keeping us from flying.

Austin said it best. "I just wish that my Mom and Dad would get it. That it was just stuff. We are all ok. I can get other toys. And they can get other stuff. I just wish that they would get happy."

I love that kid.

I just wanted to breathe.

So we made some decisions. David and I decided that we were going to live differently. We are evaluating ALL aspects of our lives. Stuff. Love. Partnership. Goals. Prayer. Forgiveness. Where we live. Money. Did I say stuff????

My friend Teri wrote to me yesterday that 7 years ago, they also had a house fire. Took nearly everything that they had. She simply wrote: "You are right Wendy, it is all just stuff". The thing about Teri is, I have known her for a couple of years now...this is the first I have heard of this seeming tragedy. Great hmmmm? She is so busy being positive and loving and living life, she failed to mention that before. I love it.

So now, my friends, my house is nearly empty....my heart is full...and I feel so free.

I can breathe.

Running on empty....feeling so full....

My house is empty....my heart is full!

I should have known or at least suspected this a looooong time ago. There were signs all along the way. The words just had to get loud enough for me to finally move out of my own way....and follow. Get out from all of the stuff. ALL of the stuff.

We are moving. Making the move that I have wanted to make for MANY years. To move to a warmer climate. We are moving to Las Vegas, Nevada. Yes folks. That is right....Sin City. But for us it is not so sinful...mainly SUNful. Not gamblers or drinkers or partiers, we love the sun, the mountains, the air....but for the most part...no snow.

I began selling all of our things in Michigan. Slowly at first. My clothes, shoes, purses, accessories. Over 300 pieces walked out of this house.

Then the purge was on.

We began slowly selling our furniture. We didn't really need an entire formal living room of furniture...so we sold it. Wow. Such freedom.

I then had an Estate Sale. Sold more than I could have ever imagined. Along the way we have given to friends and neighors, donated, consigned, Craigslist, Ebay, my entire email list of people...and then to the general public. People continued to ask....don't you have a pull or a tug or a sadness?? I have to honestly say....not one bit. In fact, I continue to look for things to rid myself of. I am having one last clothing/purse/accessory/shoe sale. Then we are done.

What I am finding is: the more I let go of "stuff"...the more I am filled with greater "stuff". Very spiritual. I have always been very organized, VERY organized, but suddenly I realized that it required a lot of time and more than that - energy- to continue to care for, store and keep track of all of that stuff.

I am suddenly free. I find myself just wanting to lay on my totally empty (well there is one lamp in the corner that is on a timer, and a floral arrangement that my mother had made on the mantle) living room floor. I see my beloved little Sushi (our 6 pound dog) laying every morning in the living room in the sun that comes in through the window. I wanted to do the same thing. So I am going to. I am going to lay in the sun, in my empty room, in my nearly empty house...and just be. Just be. Quiet. Contemplative. Grateful. Loved. Peaceful. Prayerful. Happy. Ommmmmmm......

My house is empty. My heart is full.

Please.....leave a comment!

I am just encouraging all of you to leave a comment here at this blog site. Many of you have asked how to do this. Simply go to the end of the post/article/rambling and click on the comment thingy that is underlined and it will direct you to the place to write something. I welcome your comments and ideas. Stay in touch with me....please.

xoxo Wendy

My...how time flies!!

How does this happen? Time goes by so quickly. In the blink of an eye....it is already May! I haven't written anything here since March!! It is even the 13th of May. I cannot believe it. Ok, ok...I shall proceed. I apologize for the absence. I have so much to say and will write a few new things over the next few days. I just wanted to let all of you know that I am back.

The first thing that I wanted to say is this: If you know anyone in China, or don't know anyone in China....lets offer up a prayer, or energy, or light a candle, or chant something, or meditate on their behalf...whatever it is that keeps you in touch with the Creator. I know that this seems like such a faraway land, and that we are safe and sound here in the US...but for those of us that have traveled to Asia, and other foreign countries, we begin to realize that the world is a small place and that we have more alike with all of these people than we have differences. I am also offering up pleas for Myannmar....I am hoping that I have that spelling correct. Two great catastrophes so close together. My heart aches for these places and especially for the peoples.

God bless you and your families as we ask God to bless all of them.

xoxo Wendy

Blogging???? Is that a new dance????

Blogging? Is that anything like "clogging"?

Wow....I am so glad that I started this blog...if for no other reason than to find out from so many of you that are e-mailing me asking..."What the heck is a blog exactly?" , that I am not the only one that didn't know anything about them~

I love that question....because I was pretty clueless about the entire thing myself. Jane, my motivating factor here (Please read my first posting!) had started a blog about - oh I don't know, maybe more than a year ago. She told me about it and I didn't even go look at it right away (sorry Janie) because I didn't really know what the heck it was.

Now I am starting to get it.

And now I am wondering...are there printed rules on etiquette somewhere on "The Art of the Courteous Blogger"??? Well I am telling you, I have searched and found nothing. So of course, here on MY BLOG...I am going to tell you how I see it!

First, I must ask this question???? Why the name BLOG? It sounds dirty somehow. Smog, flog, blob....these all come to mind whenever I say the word. Seriously, please come to my blob! This is how it sounds to me. Soooooo....I am going to have to research where the goofy name came from. It probably stands for something so technical and computery that I won't want to know anyhow. Blog. To me it is a gutteral word....and I don't like it.

But...welcome to my Blog anyhow.

Whew that is out of the way.

So for those of you that have been asking what the heck this is...I have often thought of it as reading someone's personal diary. Now THAT I like. I have always been nosey....no I don't like that word EITHER. Let me rephrase that. I have always been uber curious. Now THAT I like.

People write their personal feelings and opinions at a site where other people can come and read their stuff. AND are able to make comments.

The only etiquette that I am aware of...ok not really aware of, just my opinion....is that it would be wonderful if when you visit someone's blog that you hit the comment cue and jot something down. Doesn't have to be profound or very long at all...just a "hey I was here....you are a goofball"...or "my word you are so profound!"...something like that. This way bloggers know that their pages are being read and people are visiting.

I am going to apologize to every persons blog site that I have ever visited, because I didn't really understand about leaving a comment. For the longest time, I didn't even know that this was an option! (Sorry Jane, Kate, Jeannie, Pam, Rick, Adam, Cheryl, ....the list goes on!).

Also, on my page....I am going to have a vote that can be taken...so I would love it if you would visit at least once a week and take part in that vote. That would be fun.

This blog for me is also going to be for my speaking/coaching business...with some articles and information on what I do and what I am up to. So please feel free to ask any questions at all regarding those businesses.

The greatest thing about this...it is free...and YOU could start a blog of your own. If you want some information, just ask me or click on the BLOGGER icon and start your own. If you do, please be sure to tell me so that I can read your personal stuff and comment to you!!

Keep reading.

xoxo Wendy

Esther's True Age!

Shelley, Esther's daughter from Plano, Texas....wrote to me today saying (among other wonderful things) that Esther is actually 87!! I had previously said 86, but she had a birthday this month. So Happy Birthday dear Auntie Esther and thanks Shelley!!

Happy Easter All!

I hope that all of you have a marvelous Easter Sunday! No matter what your belief, what your traditions may be, eggs and chocolate, church and prayer, kids or not, family or a warm and snuggly day with you...it is my hope that you have laughter, joy and most of all PEACE in your lives.

Sooooo....do you hide eggs? Do you eat ham? Family with you? Travel? Just leave a comment or two about your traditions. I love to hear this stuff.

xoxo Wendy

Easter with Esther!

Hello again. Thanks for visiting. The response to this has been great. Just keep reading, and visiting and making comments.

Easter is this Sunday (KIM!!!). :)

I was on the phone with David's great aunt last night...Auntie Esther. I love her. She (and her daughter Laurie) welcomed me into his family with open arms...and for this I am grateful. Auntie Esther just turned 86 last week. She recently moved into an assisted living apartment from her condo in West Bloomfield. She hasn't been feeling very well. I pray that she gets better and better. The reason that I wanted to write about her here is: She loves me with a love that is endearing to me. I know that I have many people that love me. For that I am extremely grateful....but Esther loves me like I belong to her....like blood. She isn't always sweet, she can be kind of cranky....but what is great is that I can say "Auntie you are being kind of cranky!". And she listens. We have spoken many times about family, and our different cultural upbringing, and about our lives. I love talking with her.

I accompanied her to Florida last year....she was renting an apartment in Boca Raton and I went with her and stayed for about 10 days to get her settled. We did pretty well, but had a "difference of opinion" one day. I went in and lay right down on her bed and we talked it out. She said she couldn't believe how I just don't seem to hold a grudge. That was nice.

Several times, I would just go into her room in the evening or in the morning and lay down with her and she would stroke my hair or hold my hand or I would hold hers. There is something about touching and being touched that is so very calming, isn't there?

Esther's husband, George, died about 4 years ago now. And while I was lying there with her, I realized how it would be to not have someone in the house every day that touched you, or hugged you. Now Laurie comes over several times a week, and she has a daily aide...but not someone that is there all of the time...like a mate would be.

I go to see Esther whenever I can. This hasn't been often lately, not as often as I would like. I was "down" for several months healing with that whole foot business. And then she has had the flu and I cannot risk getting that right now. But when I go to see her...there is something that I love to do....and that is to hold her hand, or give her a hug or just sit very near to her.

Not only for her. But also for me.

May you have hands to hold, people to hug and humans to lay next to.

Loving thoughts.

P.S. The funniest thing about Easter with Esther? My husband and his family are Jewish. So there we will be....at Easter Brunch....at the retirement home...eating bagels and lox...and maybe some ham thrown in on the side...and loving each other totally.

Dragging me....kicking and screaming...into NOW!

Jane Jane Jane! Here it is, my friend. Finally. You have worn me down. Here is the blog that you have told me repeatedly to start.

My friend Jane has been in my life, and my heart, for more than 24 years. We know this because it is her daughter Katie's 24th birthday next week. I met Jane just before she was pregnant with that bundle. We have remained the closest of friends, sharing many fits of laughter, traveling experiences, boyfriends/husbands (me), theater, music and just the best of times together.

Jane has a blog....please go to her blog...and when I figure out what the heck I am doing here, I will give you the hook-up for hers. Jane has been on a mission for me to start one of my own. She was here overnight last night, and this morning at breakfast I finally conceded (in my own mind at least) that I was going to start one. I did not tell Jane this. Yet. Jane even named this for me. I'M JUST SAYIN. Which seems to be perfect for me.

So....if you love this (eventually) thank Jane. If you don't...blame her. There. That being said....awaaaaaay we go!

I love you Jane...like a sister. Although I have never had a sister, wanted a sister or thought that I needed a sister....I do need you and love you and you are wanted beyond your wildest imagination.

xoxo Wendy